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Survivor One World Recap: Tarzan And The Girls

Filed under : Celebrity News

Last night was the penultimate episode of ‘Survivor: One World’ before the finale next week. Who made it right to the end? Who put blood-stained panties on their head? (I kid you not…and it wasn’t even their blood.) Let’s just say that Tarzan seemed to spend the whole episode proving exactly why he shouldn’t (and hopefully can’t) win the million dollar prize.

I was beginning to think I had Tarzan all wrong; that he’d got a master plan that we would all understand in the fullness of time; but no; he has no freakin’ idea what he’s doing, does he? First he put Kat’s bloody bikini bottoms on his head; then he called Alicia a bitch for beating him in the immunity challenge (that’s not why she’s a bitch), and then he bragged at Tribal Council to the jury of men about getting rid of them whilst also criticizing them for possibly not agreeing that the right people went out at the right time. Clueless. Absolutely clueless!

But since Tarzan seemed busy discounting himself, let’s do that too and move on. The episode began with the women enjoying the irony of Kat saying how much she loves blindsides, right before getting blindsided. Tarzan was wrong here too: Kat could have pulled in a few votes, especially the guys who appreciate her acting just like a guy and thinking it’s funny in a woman.

I loved how Tarzan tried to convince Kim to take him to the final four and then vote him off so he could tell the jury to vote for her. That’s what Alicia suggested Tarzan do for her too! Only trouble is, anything shared with one of these gossips quickly gets shared between the whole lot of them. Tarzan’s emotional blackmail that without the prize money he won’t be able to buy shocks for his car wasn’t working on me, either. How bad a plastic surgeon do you have to be to not be able to afford $40 shocks for your car!

The following day was all about forming alliances to get certain people out, too.Chelseatried to team up with Christina to oust Tarzan by discussing the great bond between Christina and Alicia. Really? Hadn’t noticed. Alicia was pretty evil to Christina, wasn’t she? Christina just couldn’t wait to divulge that conversation with the others. And then Kim toldChelseaall about it too, so Tarzan needs to learn that the girls talk about everything. Actually, it’s a pity the guys didn’t talk more instead of allowing the women to play them and systematically vote them off.

The reward challenge involved people putting a decoder disc on the floor, running in circles around it and then attempting to make it in a straight line only then they had to decipher a 3-digit code to solve a combo box. I am just shocked at how many times our survivors msust have played this game at parties because they were all pretty good at it, which meant it was nowhere near as much fun as it should have been.

Chelseawon and overnighter on a yacht, complete with a bed, feast, and champagne. She picked Sabrina and Kim to go with her. It wasn’t exactly fair or according to her reasoning but hey…Chelseawon a reward. This of course angered Alicia and Christina, so Tarzan worked on them a bit to try to convince them they’d do well with him in the final three.

He blew it though, with his cooking. No crotch for me, please. Alicia tried to save them all by offering to help. When Tarzan refused her help, she worried,

“You’re not using your buff to drain that, or puree it, whatever you want to call it, because that was wrapped around your you know what?”

But how deluded was Alicia!

“I am the queen of the social game!” she said, incensed by Tarzan trying to play it that way. “That’s the ghetto Puerto Rican coming on.”

You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry. Bruce Bannerman be afraid, e very afraid, because we don’t even like Alicia when she’s not angry!

“I’m the most powerful player,” she declared, “and I’m going to remain the most powerful player”

In your dreams, baby.

There was an Immunity Challenge where the players had to use fish hooks to pick up bags of puzzle pieces which then had to be used to form a fish skeleton, all with one hand tied behind their back. Alicia just beats Kim, which is why Tarzan called her a bitch.

Chelsea and Kim talked immunity idols, as in Kim told Chelsea she was in trouble but wouldn’t give her the idol. Of course not: if anyone can beat Kim, surely it’s Chelsea.

Tribal Council was where Tarzan shot himself right in the foot, spilling to the guys about how he let the women use him as their pawn to help eliminate the guys, then saying how no one will vote for him, a millionaire. Oh and he gets at the guys for not agreeing with him that they deserved to be picked off.

But Tarzan is voted off. Surprise, surprise: not!

So we head into the final episode with Kim sure to get a top four slot as she has an immunity idol. She has to be the hot favorite to win, doesn’t she?

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