OK, I’m back now – I had to go brush my teeth.
So in the latest episode of “Jersey Shore,” Deena was scheming to hook up with Pauly on a friends with benefits basis. But poor Pauly was scared she’d cling to him if they had sex. J-Woww thought they’d smush anyway.
But Deena was also doing a lot of smushing of the floor this past episode. She must have fallen down at least three times.
Later at night, Deena stumbled into Pauly’s bed in her underwear, looking for a good time, but Pauly pretends to be asleep, so she leaves. Phew! Crisis averted – for now!
Next, the whole “Jersey Shore Season 4” gang decide to cook Sunday lunch, which means they have to go shopping. Only trouble is, they seem to have forgotten they went to Italy and they can’t read a darn label between the lot of ‘em!
Still, Sammie was desperate to prove she can cook, so she and Deena attempt to fix a feast for the boys. Cue more stumbling blocks (literally) as Sammi can’t get a knife out of the block and sniffs a container of raspberries suspiciously, thinking they’re weird, Italian strawberries. Oh dear.
So, predictably, the girls soon abandon their cooking and decide to go out to eat while running the dishwasher. Unfortunately, they can’t do that either, and the boys come home to a very sudsy kitchen.
The “Jersey Shore Season 4” cast is going to work at a pizzeria this season, though, so at least they can bring their work home with them and won’t starve.
So, after a long day at work, the “Jersey Shore” gang hit the club. Ronnie is soon wasted and blabbing about how he slept with four girls before he left for Italy – or was it three girls in four days? He just can’t keep track! But anyway, no matter: he has a backup chick, Hannah, whom he’s planning to fly out to Italy for a conjugal visit.
The Situation was as confused as ever, messing around with Britney from Florida then telling Snooki he really likes her.
“You’re not just someone I can take home,” he admits – although technically, they live together, so …
It’s not in love just with her looks, either. He loves her personality. Hey now who told The Situation that girls have those! Check that contract and see if it’s allowed. Jianni can relax back home, though. Snooki didn’t react to The Situation’s advances (yet).
Unfortunately, Sammi got a little nostalgic for Ron. While the former couple drunkenly digs into some late-night sandwiches, Sammi snuggles up to her ex and admits she still loves him and wants to cuddle.
“F— me with a spiked bat,” Ronnie told the cameras.
Well, ithat’s preferable to seeing those two back together again, isn’t it?
Tune in to the next episode of “Jersey Shore Season 4” to find out if we need to worry about Sammi any more.