Last night, Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola returned to “Jersey Shore”, while Ronnie Magro continued his transformation from booze-filled bruiser to New Age Man (to some extent). So who do you like best: creep Ronnie, raging Ronnie, sobbing Ronnie or the brown-nosing Ronnie we saw last night? Personally, I sort of liked brown-nosing Ronnie but I definitely prefer a single Sammi, although her return put the poor guy in a spin.
We liked Deena’s view on her return best: she’s “hystatic,” which is “when you’re super-happy and … really happy,” she said. Uh, yeah. Thanks for explaining that one to us, Deena!
Then it was time for Ronnie to welcome Sammi back, only to be told, inexplicably, that he looks “pale”. Hey, that’s fighting talk on Staten Island! But the girls fill Sammi in on how Ronnie’s moped ever since she left. “I’ll never find a girl like that again,” he’d said. May we suggest a local psychiatric ward? Of course, Sammi is pleased to hear that but she spent the rest of the evening at Karma ignoring his advances. Is she just playing hard to get?
Snooki gives Vinny Guadagnino the heads up on wanting to cuddle later but when he asks if this means he shouldn’t bring a girl home. We don’t actually get to see her answer that on screen but she gives another great Snooki line: “I actually named his penis Moby Dick, and I would love to try again to see if it would work.” Um, we think you’ll find it’s not broken.
Snooki confides her growing feelings for Vinny in Sammi, gets drunk and declares, “I want to touch Vinny!” very loudly, twice.
Too bad, as Vinny found himself a nice Dominican girl, who wants to have his babies, immediately! He and Pauly D double date and we’re not surprised when Sammi and Snooky discover them all in the bedroom. Ronnie literally picks the girls up and removes them from the room before consoling Snooki and it’s chance for Sammi to get in another dig about how Ronnie had made her feel bad, cheating on her. But Ronnie must have mistaken her words for “get back with me, Ronnie” or something and he accuses her of messing with his head.
Later, we have another shot of JWoww peeing in a public place, this time behind a car. Well at least it’s better than behind the bar, like last time! Well, maybe doesn’t think so as JWoww pees on her foot!
Snooki gets selective amnesia but remembers enough to accuse Vinny of making her look stupid. Like she needs any help!
Ronnie doesn’t look too good, either, wussing out of fixing the toilet. Later, plumbers discover someone flushed clothes down the toilet.
Ronnie, Sammi and Snooki decide to spend a sober evening together but their behaviour is no better. They prank Mike, hiding Parmesan cheese between his sheets, while the others go to Aztec and Vinny provides this season’s comedy moment for me:
Cute girl: I’m gay. She’s my girlfriend.
Vinny: For real?
[Cute girl nods]
Vinny: Are you fully gay?
Cute girl: No. [Giggles]
That’s not the only cheese this episode. The Situation proves once more he’s no gentleman, bringing a cute brunette home to give him “oral pleasure”, and then kicking her out because she smelled! It’s left to JWoww to warn him of the dangers of getting an STD but The Situation doesn’t believe men can get STDs that way, until JWoww consults a doctor, who confirms that men can get herpes that way. After a stomach-churning discussion on the cheese smell they wonder if the woman had a yeast infection. JWoww: “It won’t be long before Mike’s [penis] falls off.” We can live in hope!