We could quite possibly have the best final two in “Celebrity Apprentice” history! John Rich vs. Marlee Matlin is a face-off really worth watching. Both are smart and talented and both have worked hard for the Celebrity Apprentice title. The only problem now is going to be deciding who to support in the final.
Anyone with John Rich’s handlebar mustache deserves some kind of respect, but let’s not forget what we’re here for, folks. Marlee raised one million dollars on one task!
Here’s how our final two made it through:
Piers Morgan, Joan Rivers and Bret Michaels interviewed the final four candidates and Morgan was right on form, asking John Rich “It’s quite an annoying hat, isn’t it?,” chastising Lil Jon for saying that he didn’t deserve to be in the final two, and challenging Meat Loaf about whether he had anger management issues. Morgan certainly tested out all the characters.
There was a classic Joan Rivers moment, when Lil Jon explained that he wanted to be on “Celebrity Apprentice”, “To show that not all rappers are blunt smoking, crack smoking ignorant people.” “Can you give us names?” asked Joan.
Bret Michaels was just content to hit on Marlee.
Meatloaf appeared the happiest I’ve ever seen anyone to be fired. Period. “I admire you more than you can imagine,” he told Donald Trump. But since there seems to be no limit to the adoration Trump can imagine that was probably a brag too far for Meat Loaf. He went off slapping high fives with Adrian the elevator operator and winking, pointing, and awkwardly exchanging devil horns with Amanda the receptionist. Could he have misheard “hired” for “fired”?
But anyway, we found ourselves left with our final two: John Rich and Marlee Matlin.
And in a welcome change from past seasons, Marlee and John Rich were allowed to pick whom they got to help them in their final task from the six returning players offered.
The task was centered on a beverage called 7UP Retro. Each team had to design retro packaging, produce a commercial, and launch a star-studded launch event.
Marlee chose to revisit the 70s for her ad, complete with an appearance by the Harlem Globetrotters. John Rich therefore got the 80s and a Def Leppard performance. That seemed a bad choice of Marlee’s, I think.
As Marlee had first choice of decade, John Rich got first choice of celebrity assistants. It was no surprise he took Lil Jon, but things got interesting as Marlee didn’t make the obvious choice of Star Jones. Instead she picked the emotional ticking time bomb that is Meat Loaf!
Next, John Rich took Mark McGrath and Marlee once again skipped over Star to pick Richard Hatch, a guy who was fired early and whom she had never worked with once. So, John Rich got Star Jones as last pick, making John’s team Lil’ Jon, Mark McGrath and Star Jones. Marlee’s team consisted of Meat Loaf, Richard Hatch and La Toya Jackson.
John Rich missed a perfect opportunity to call in an 80s icon and former Celebrity Apprentice contestant living right there in New York City. John didn’t seem to remember about her. Instead they got Twisted Sister front-man Dee Snider, who once in make-up, didn’t look like he’d aged a day.
Over on Marlee’s team, when Meat Loaf was not telling someone to “blow me,” he was complaining about the boom box not being used on their 7UP Retro 12-pack box. “I think we’re making a huge, huge, huge, giant mistake,” said Meat. Seriously? Huge, huge, huge and giant? Damn, that’s, like, the biggest mistake EVER! But since the boom box is actually more of an 80s thing with the rise of break-dancing and hip-hop, it was probably just as well to skip it. Meat Loaf showed us he can still lose his temper with the best of them so will he cause his team to lose the challenge.
John Rich’s soda can and ad looked pretty good, so I can’t wait to see how it all plays out and who wins. No doubt Trump will drag out the decision for as long as possible, polling every single contestant, except Richard Hatch, of course, who is now in jail.
But that is for next time. Until then, are you happy with John Rich and Marlee Matlin as the final two in “Celebrity Apprentice”? Who has their nose in front right now?