Here’s how it all went down on last night’s special three hour episode:
In the first task the teams had to create a New York City guidebook and then go sell it and raise the most money. Penn Jillette thought he would have the Blue Men Group make a big donation. They did, but they had the not so great idea, instead of physically handing over the money, to shoot it up into a balloon that would then pop, causing money to fly all over the streets of New York City. Now, in a city where “finders keepers, losers weepers” is paramount, this doesn’t sound the best way to get money for a specific charity: it just spreads it out around random people, doesn’t it?
So when the balloon popped, releasing $8,000, there was a hilarious rush of people seeking to fill their pockets, bras and even their butt cracks with cash, if Clay Aiken is to be believed.
“It was a disaster,” Clay fumed later in the Boardroom. “It was a horrible idea.”
Arsenio called up Jay Leno. Having once famously boasted on the cover of Entertainment Weekly that he was going to kick Leno’s ass in the late night viewing figures, now he was ready to kiss it. He got a blank check, with the only instruction being, “Don’t go crazy.” Serious money! Unfortunately, FedEx delivered it before Arsenio’s office opened, so it was stuck on the truck and didn’t arrive in time.
Lisa Lampanelli was her usual charming self, repeatedly yelling “Shut up!” at Dayana, for suggesting an addition to their NYC booklet. “I am sick of this pressure from women who all they do is look in a f—ing mirror,” said Lisa. “F— you! Develop a talent and a brain and then maybe the world will take you seriously.” Ouch!
Donald then shook up the teams, sending Teresa and Aubrey to Unanimous and Lou, Dee and Penn over to Forte. It was obvious that Aubrey would be sent to Arsenio’s team as soon as he openly told everyone to keep her away from him, wasn’t it?
In the second task, after the teams were switched up, Lisa continued with her arrogant insistence that she was the only competent person on site.
The second task was to create a live interactive health segment to promote the “Walk with Walgreens” program. Aubrey took it very seriously. In fact, after Arsenio laid into him in the boardroom, he upped and walked out. Right off the show.
“Arsenio, you could be the person who took a walk away from the industry for a while.” Maybe it was when she was coming up with themes for everyone’s photos on the (Ouch!) Maybe it was when she kept insisting he use a certain photo on the box instead of the one the Project Manager preferred. Perhaps it was when she commented on the photo that, “I know it might be a harsh reality but those wrinkles really did happen to your face.”
She had finally had enough when Aubrey took credit for writing the quotes on the box. “You didn’t write mine!” Arsenio fumed. He then went on and on about what a horrible human being Aubrey is. The best part was probably watching how innocent and hurt Aubrey acted as she was called out over her selfishness.
Suggesting to Dayana that she ditch the bikini for a one-piece bathing suit was sure to put a whole heap of men off Lisa, too. But no one need have worried: she doesn’t have a one piece, only thongs.
But Lisa’s lowest blow, I think, came when she said of Lou Ferrigno, “It’s going to be so sad when he goes home tomorrow” when he was literally standing right behind her. He’s certified deaf, but even so, this was stunning in its insensitivity.
Teresa Giudice finally made an impact on Celebrity Apprentice last night. She reached her boiling point when Debbie Gibson critiqued her in the Boardroom for poor organization as Project Manager.
“Are you kidding me?!?” she yelled several times while slapping the Boardroom table.
No table flipping, though.
That was just the entrée, though. Later, when Debbie commented that Teresa “doesn’t like anyone that speaks out against her. It’s not professional,” Teresa really blew her stack.
“Look what you’re wearing,” she screamed. “Are you professional? Your t— are hanging out. Are you professional? We’re on Celebrity Apprentice. You don’t dress like that.” Well, actually, a lot of the women on the show do dress like that. Just sayin’…not sticking up for Lisa or anything.
But Aubrey had already walked out, not wanting to come back after learning that her team had won the task. She went straight for the elevator instead of joining her team back in the suite. Will she be back next week? We’ll see.
Dee was fired too. He hadn’t been incompetent enough to go early nor impressive enough to get to the end, so this seemed appropriate. But the firings were a little anticlimactic compared to the rest of the Celebrity Apprentice drama, weren’t they?