Donald Trump arrived back on our screens with his new gang of B-listers who once were probably household names but who haven’t got another project lined up, and one or two legends whom we don’t really want to work ever again because we want to remember them how they were and call them legends (thinking The Incredible Hulk here.)
So who made the grade and who didn’t live up to Donald Trump’s (and our) expectations?
A couple of people who really did were Adam Corolla and Lisa Lampanelli. They brought their standup routines to Celebrity Apprentice thinly disguised as banter with their fellow contestants. Oh and we had George Takei scoping out Lou Ferrigno’s magnificent body. I just loved that.
As if to prove my point, when the celebrities met up and didn’t even recognize each other, Arsenio Hall, said “I ran into Ruben Studdard.”
But no sooner were they trying to get to grips with each other’s names than they had to name their teams. This show is, like, really demanding.
Why oh why wouldn’t Clay Aitkn let the boys be called The Honeybadgers? Perhaps in a vain attempt to pull together as a team before the first challenge sets them at each others’ throats they settled on Unanimous. I wonder how long that will be appropriate but they did OK picking Paul Teutel Sr. from Orange County Choppers as project manager. The decision was perhaps a surprising one since the only reason his name came up was to point out that he wouldn’t be a good option for this week’s project manager!
The women chose Forte as their team name and supermodel Patricia Velasquez as project manager.
I had forgotten somewhere back in the mists of time that Lou Ferrigno was The Incredible Hulk. No…wait…I mean…I’d forgotten he was hearing impaired! Yeah, that’s right, but he’s great at lip reading so he’s returned to superhero status once more and we can probably forget that little detail.
It was at this point that I realized the guys were a man down. Race car driver Marco Andretti was so distraught over losing his friend Dan Wheldon in a Las Vegas IndyCar 300 accident in October that he opted not to participate. His dad Michael Andretti, also a driver and son of legendary Mario Andretti, replaced him later in the episode.
The teams’ first challenge was sandwich making. Sigh. There was a little more to it, making sandwiches at two branches of Cafe Metro, but compared to last season’s debut with the pizzas it was a bit disappointing.
Next was some confusing editing. We saw the women, especially Patricia and Dayana bring in check after check, $30,000 here, $15,000 there, and lots of Project Manager failing to deliver on his promise to bring in “at least half a million,” which the boys seemed to rely on and not do a lot else. But the men brought in $367,120 compared to the women’s $126,962 (which was record-setting anyway).
Now where in the world did that many come from! Oh yeah…um… Paul had one friend write him a check for $305,000, which wasn’t shown on camera. No big deal.
I felt sorry for Patricia who got tearful at having to pick model Cheryl Tiegs and Victoria Gotti to join her in the boardroom.
I expected Victoria to be fired because not only was she making personal calls while all the other girls were fundraising but she was also late to the challenge, supposedly for a torn cornea. But Patricia and Victoria were both adamant that Cheryl should definitely be fired.
But then I felt even more sorry for Cheryl, who seemed a little embarrassed to be there, which may have made her “I don’t know if this is right for me” declaration a little bit easier on everyone.
What do you think? Should Cheryl have been fired? Or should Victoria have been the one to go? Who else stood out for you?