Ian’s victory last night had to be one of the best ever Big Brother stories. He walked into the ‘Big Brother’ house wearing fifth-grade glasses and a seventh-grade haircut, dressed like a high schooler pretending to be a college boy and babbling about how much he loved the show. He was star-struck with Mike Boogie.
Ian chose the punishment of wearing a dog costume over a Maui vacation, he walked into the triple-couple alliance of Team Britney and Team Dan and announced that he wanted to join them. He named the Quack Pack; he was the Quack Pack’s spy; he was, in fact, the whole reason why the Quack Pack existed. And then, Ian made the season his own. Four times Head of Household, including for the final three-part competition, which he won after throwing the first competition. He won two veto competitions: $1000 and a new hammock.
Ian took down one of the greatest players in ‘Big Brother’ history and then told Boogie he was sorry. And then he beat one of the greatest reality TV contestants ever 6-1 in a final jury vote, having chosen to sit next to Dan. Ian won because no one could hate him, even after he had attacked them and won.
Boogie tried to turn it into a coming of age story, saying “He’s gonna leave a man, one way or another, tonight.”
But really, wasn’t the victory just surprising? It’s only a few days since Ian was wondering delirious around the ‘Big Brother’ house like a hobo who wasn’t sure how he got there.
So how did Ian win ‘Big Brother’?
The finale began where we left off: with Dan, Ian, and Danielle hanging off giant fish-hooks, suffering through rain and thunder, plus some occasional wall-slamming. But then, unexpectedly, we flashed back to the night Shane got evicted. Dan took Ian into the bedroom and put him on the spot:
“You want to stick around in this game, you’re gonna have to drop the first part of this final HoH.” He came up with some vague explanation — “I can’t beat Danielle in the second heat.” — but Ian would have promised him just about anything in that moment.
One hour later, after apologizing to Danielle for forcing her to murder her own boyfriend, Dan shared his plan with Danielle. “When Ian falls after ten minutes,” he said, “hopefully you start to see exactly how the hell I’m trying to get us to the end.”
Sure enough, Ian took the fall, playing tired and weak, although we all knew he was throwing the competition. Then Dan tried to talk strategy with Danielle.
He told Danielle that, if she lost the competition, he would high-five Ian and act like a man who just won a lot of money; then, Danielle would have to play the betrayed player, telling Ian that she would taint the Jury. The idea was that Ian would get scared, and would throw the final competition to Dan. It was a classic Dan tactic.
Danielle should have been wise to Dan’s lies but instead she told him,
“You’ll be the most deadliest player to ever play this game.”
And it almost worked. Danielle lost the Skyscraper challenge to Ian by one minute and thirty seconds. (Ian won, apparently, because he had the hot idea to only erase people’s names instead of their whole faces – the kind of quick thinking which shows why Ian was such a threat in this season’s competitions.) Dan told Ian,
“Congratulations! You just won fifty grand!”
Danielle saw him say that and Ian freaked out:
“She was standing there! I’m going to kill you!”
Danielle played the betrayal card, and then she turned Judas:
“I will tell Shane and Ashley everything that came out of your mouth!”
Ian won the whole thing there, in my opinion, telling her he didn’t respond to threats. Despite Dan’s efforts, he refused to throw the final competition. Ian wouldn’t give in. He probably didn’t even know what Dan was up to.
At the Jury House, Shane walked in to greet Dan’s victims and apologetically explained how he wound up outside the house. It’s worth noting that by getting rid of Shane, Dan saved Ian, who eventually beat him. Not such a smart move, after all!
The members of the Jury talked about the remaining players. Ian was a clear favorite. Frank said that it was hard to vote for a guy who stabbed him in the back, but that was half-hearted as his alternative was to vote for Dan, whom he detested. Not sure what Jenn was on about but it doesn’t matter. She never did.
Nobody really offered any good arguments for Danielle so Shane had to remind everyone that she got Janelle out of the game. The talk around Dan centered on whether he was a bad person who didn’t deserve to win, or a great game player.
So for the final Head of House Dan and Ian had to guess, from a multiple choice, what the expelled housemates had said. Some of the lines were kind of funny (Joe regretted his ten alliances.) Some of them were a bit heartbreaking. (Smashley said her favorite moment in the house was her ice cream date with Frank; Ian got that answer right.) Ian ended up winning by a wide 5-2 margin; he didn’t miss a single question. He apologized for the decision he had to make but booted Danielle.
She was the only person who then went on to vote for Dan, and she did so because she tried to be loyal to the man who’d been her pal all summer. It left Ian victorious, having grown through the summer while Dan felt into his own trap after a summer of deceit.