There were 3 one-on-one dates and a group date last night. On the first, Brad was stranded on a desert island with Emily, whom he keeps calling “Em” like they are already tight. Could pundits be wrong? Could our beloved Emily still win “Bachelor”? It would be nice to think so, but Brad spends so much time moaning on this date that he has spent so long setting up (liar!) that it is “awkward”. You’re better than this, Emily! Resist; make the predictions correct: lose the series and be the real winner. Brad doesn’t deserve you.
Date No. 2 is with Shawntel, walking the streets on Aguilla. Someone should really tell her that being s “streetwalker” is not a good career move. They rudely ditch a special concert by Bankie Banx, Aguilla’s most famous singer, to swim. It’s not too dark to see Shawntel mount Brad in the ocean, though, so perhaps he has found the “clarity” he sought there.
Date No. 3 with Britt is not for the faint-hearted, or even for those with a minimum of safety consciousness: bike riding and cliff jumping, both without helmets. We’re guessing that the producers of the show didn’t specifically demand the complete disregard for basic safety measures, but maybe helmets are only for people with brains worth protecting. We must confess some relief when Brad admits he has no romantic feelings for Britt. Seriously, it would be like dating your Dad’s friend! She tries hard though, with a Lolita negligee moment.
Maybe Brad had trouble sleeping afterward, because he makes a 2am start to the date with Ashley, Chantal and Michelle. They are typically angry they have no time to dress up for the occasion, but it hardly matters since the date is a dress-down affair: a swimsuit shoot for “Sports Illustrated”, out today so get your copy now! Michelle’s flirting and kissing with Brad just about has the other two fit to vomit. They needn’t have worried, though, Brad is so sure he’s dumping Michelle he even cancels the cocktail party and gets rid of her early, with no alcohol to numb the rejection.
So, our prediction came true: no hometown date for Michelle. Next week’s Bachelor is set to be a classic. Brad is freaked out at Shawntel’s family funeral parlor; Emily’s daughter clearly doesn’t warm to Brad (kids have a 6th sense about this stuff) and Lorelei… sorry, we mean Chantal… takes him home to meet her parents, who look like they just walked off the set of “Gilmore Girls”!
Spoiler: Don’t read this if you don’t want to know who wins Bachelor 2011.
We were right about Michelle’s exit. Now will we be correct that the series winner will be Chantal and that our lovely Emily will have a lucky escape she will hopefully come to appreciate??