Last week on ‘America’s Next Top Model’ AzMarie was eliminated, basically because she refused to wear a butt pad. In the bottom two with her was Kyle. Was she on borrowed time? From her elimination last night, it seemed so.
Last night’s show started back at the house with Laura majorly pissed that it was AzMarie, not Kyle, who was eliminated. Mainly, though. She’s just annoyed that they hadn’t got rid of Kyle yet.
The British girls and Laura spent a lot of time by the pool, spewing venom about how useless Kyle is.
The challenge this week was to create a two-minute PSA for Tyra’s “Bio” campaign, promoting positive body image. Because gorgeous models are just the right people to make us feel good about ourselves, of course. The prize was a good one: a message from a loved one. But I feared for several of the girls as they didn’t even know what a PSA is.
I liked how each model was teamed with a teen girl for this task. They confided in the models about having been bullied for their looks. The models did their best to be sweet and reassure the girls that post-puberty most bullies grow up and leave off their vicious ways. I was left wondering why all the episodes couldn’t be this meaningful and emotional. Oh yeah: because the show would be cancelled pretty soon. I get it.
The models and girls worked on their scripts on the theme of “Beauty is…”
My favorite was “Beauty is MOLD!” Laura was great, explaining to her young partner how she meant that she meant that beauty is breaking the mold. I loved her. And I loved the things they came up with.
- being smart
- bring funny
- showing your inner confidence with a smile
- being silly
- being confident
- being you.
I didn’t envy Nigel having to judge these and say some of them were less good.
But he did, and the British team won.
Their messages from home were mostly really cute and emotional. But Sophie so needs a new boyfriend. “That was such bollocks,” she said and she was right.
The photo shoot had the girls trying to look like a “living art installation” at a dinner party in a fancy mansion.
The shoot was judge by Estelle, a British singer who sings “American Boy” with Kanye.
The model’s ideas of standing out at the dinner party invariably involved sexual poses and performing virtually obscene acts with meats. Even the models in the background appear never to have been to a dinner party before because they seem to have no idea what goes on at one. Kyle didn’t win anyone over by getting a butt pad while the other girls were left trying to flaunt their natural assets.
This is what the judges thought of each girl’s photo:
Catherine: None of the judges knew what to say about Catherine with her butt in the air so it was just an excuse to rehash toochgate from last week.
Alisha: She is better on video than in photos, which is a bit of a damning criticism for a woulkd-be model, I though.
Sophie: Kelly thought it looked like “Ivanka Trump’s divorce party.” I take that’s really, really bad, but I don’t know.
Annaliese: Nigel thought she looked fabulous, and Estelle loved her photo too. Kelly said it’s the best shot she’s done, but didn’t love it as much as the other judges didbecause she thought it was more commercial than high fashion.
Eboni: The judges remarked on her beautiful body and face, and Tyra loved how she finally managed to look young, but Kelly called her photo “topsy-turvy.”
Kyle: Everyone was disappointed with this shot and it looks like not even more tooch talk could save her.
Laura: The judges thought her face was great, but they couldn’t amek up their minds as to whether her body was hot or not.
Seymone: Kelly and Estelle loved her photos, which Tyra calls it an “upside down arched rainbow tooch.”
Enough with the tooch, already! Their decisions were:
Best photo: Sophie
Bottom Two: Kyle and Alisha
Kyle was singled out because the judges don’t think she’s great or diverse in her poses. Alisha found herself in the bottom two because her photos don’t compare well to her in person or on video.
So Kyle was eliminated and Tyra made me cringe with her reassurance that she too was a “girl next door” when she started out. Just stop it, now. Goodbye, Kyle.